Husbands

Any of you have a husband like this?? I sure can relate with Mrs Fenton :)

Dear Mrs. Fenton,

Our store is considering banning your family from ever
shopping with us again, unless your husband stops his
antics. Below is a list of offenses over the past few
months... all verified by our surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put
them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to
go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor
leading to the restrooms.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in
an official tone, "Code 3' in House wares!"..... and
watched what happened.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put
a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to
a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a camping tent in the sporting
goods department, and told other shoppers he'd invite
them in if they'll bring pillows from the Bedding
department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help
him, he begins to cry and asks "Why can't you people
just leave me alone?"

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera;
used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting
department, asked the clerk if he knows where the
antidepressants are.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously
loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his
"Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when
people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME!, PICK ME!"

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the
loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and
screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

....and; last, but not least

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the
door and waited a while; then , yelled, very loudly,
"There is no toilet paper in here!"