Today more then ever I need to be vigilant. I need to discern between the voice of my ego ... always based on fear, wants separation, is never satisfied and the voice of my HP ... always comes from a place of love, wants unity and satisfies my every need.
My ego tells me that I will lose what I have and not get what I want. It tells me that I am not enough, that I need to be something other then who/what I am to be accepted and loved. Ego tells me that love, faithfulness and trust are sacrifices and risks that come to a terrible end. I am beginning to see my ego like the boogie man that lived under my bed as a child ... scared the heck outa me but in reality didn't exist. Nothing that my ego creates is loving and kind, useful for others, or even true.
My HP on the other hand tells me that I have everything because I am everything. My HP says just the way I am is wonderful and perfect for He created me. I am loved completely because I am a daughter of God. The Almighty tells me that love is the only truth there is so it's the only thing I am to do. I have strength, courage and faith because my HP lives within me, all around me, never leaving me alone or lonely. Everything that my HP creates is true, beautiful, useful and worthy of love.
My HP loves me so much that He will let me choose the path of my ego and come back to Him all battered and bruised, filled with fear, not knowing what to do next. Always I am accepted back into His arms... he heals my spirit, takes away the fear, restores love and faith. Ego says I am worthless, need to try harder and sends me back into the battle.
Funny how it feels so hard to follow the path of my HP when all that results is loving and good. Seems that even my ego is in charge of what it is I feel. For so long I have thought my ego was my friend. I just blindly accepted that what my ego was telling me was the truth. I am learning more and more... just as I did with alcohol that in fact the ego is not my friend... never has been, never will be. I will only be happy and satisfied when I follow the path of my HP. I am learning that to love is not sacrifice nor is love to be feared.
The program says that in order to keep what we have we must give it away. For me to keep love I must love others. When I choose to love it grows within you and within me ... it banishes the darkness within us both and heals places deep in our souls. I could choose to follow the path of ego... fear all of you and let the darkness overcome my spirit and yours.
Today I will keep vigilant and choose the path of my HP ... loving myself by loving all of you.
About Me
- Anna
- I am a fun loving person that likes to capture all of life's many moments on film. I can be childish and silly... yet have this depth within my soul that scares me at times. I am deeply spiritual (not religious) with a sick and twisted sense of humor. I have been given a new life with sobriety and try to love the best I can one day at a time. I know today that I am a daughter of God and am loved and can share that love with others. I have realized that life isn't so much about things ... it's about all the wonderful relationships in my life. I have been gifted with a beautiful baby girl and a son that has overcome many obstacles in his life so far... both are winners in my book. My greatest challenge has been to overcome the hundred forms of fear that lurks in my mind. My childhood was a place of darkness... today I don't regret the past nor do I want to shut the door on it. I am the woman I am today because of my past and I love the compassion, understanding and strength it has given to me.
6 comments:
Did you write that last paragraph?
It rings true to some people I know still living in darkness,afraid to love.I so appreciate you sharing this here,glad you are posting:)
Thanks again for sharing Anna ~
Yes, I wrote it all.
Anna this is wonderful and I really needed to read this today. I am struggling with doing what I have been told I need to do in this program. I'm not wanting to do it. I'm not wanting to check in every day. I want to do it on my own. Thankfully I have enough HP in me to know how that will turn out. I just sit quietly when those thoughts come and know that this too shall pass. Thanks for sharing such wisdome.
wow...you are a good writer.
Guess that is what happens to people who are not afraid to express themselves!?
I thank you again for your sharing~
Just what I needed to hear. I proved I can do it on my own if I have to but I sure like doing it beside you instead. I have missed you a ton this week! Love ya.
sometimes it is hard... and you sound like you ahve the right attitude. thanks : D
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