"Dependent people need others to get what they want. Independent people can get what they want through their own efforts. Interdependent people combine their own efforts with the efforts of others to achieve their greatest success." -- Stephen Covey
"Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much." -- Helen Keller
I was talking to a friend yesterday about not becoming too dependent upon your mate. This has been a real tricky area for me. All alone out in the world I just couldn't stop drinking nor could I maintain anything that looked at all healthy in my life. With the program of AA and the fellowship I have been able to put down the drink, clean house and open myself to things that are healthier for me.
AA has not done all the work for me. What I put into my sobriety is what I get out of it. It's been hard to practice this interdependence with people, places and things. My first reaction can still be to either depend upon someone too much or to not be accepting of my limitations and be too independent. I really struggle with balance.
With the grace of God I am learning that it's ok to need things from others. We all have needs ...I'm not alone or special.
About Me
- Anna
- I am a fun loving person that likes to capture all of life's many moments on film. I can be childish and silly... yet have this depth within my soul that scares me at times. I am deeply spiritual (not religious) with a sick and twisted sense of humor. I have been given a new life with sobriety and try to love the best I can one day at a time. I know today that I am a daughter of God and am loved and can share that love with others. I have realized that life isn't so much about things ... it's about all the wonderful relationships in my life. I have been gifted with a beautiful baby girl and a son that has overcome many obstacles in his life so far... both are winners in my book. My greatest challenge has been to overcome the hundred forms of fear that lurks in my mind. My childhood was a place of darkness... today I don't regret the past nor do I want to shut the door on it. I am the woman I am today because of my past and I love the compassion, understanding and strength it has given to me.
6 comments:
Good thoughts. I struggle with this balance too. Good reminder to me if I find the right balance I will have great success.
That's why I have to stay single, at least at this point in my life. I don't like it all the time, but I know in my heart that it's necessary.
I love how Covey teaches. I got a chance to go thru a 3 day 7 Habits Seminar... man, was that a boost to my program. Helping others, and being helped by others is like the last thing any "self respecting" alcoholic wants to do... But, to live, we have to... Interdependance is difficult. I still allow my moods and feelings to be affected by those around me, instead of "bringing my own weather" as Covey puts it.
Thanks for the great read this morning.
Yes ,you are special woman!!!!!!!!
Feeling alone is one thing but there is nothing wrong with needing things from others.Humans need other humans but yor dependence does have to be a healthy balanced one..your right.Sometimes we hold high expectations to how others should treat us or be there for us..sometimes we lack that ability to know how to fill that gap with in ourselves,,,this has been one of the most profound areas in my life is feeling good and confident in my own skin and not fearing needing or wanting something sincere and honest from someone else.Maybe we just need to learn to trust ourselves more so we can trust others more and not NEED so much but rather enjoy what we recieve.
I don't know..I liked what you said about getting what you put in to your sobriety..its true in life right across the board!!!!
Thanks for sharing Anna!
Oh Anna - this is exactly what I talked about at my meeting on Monday. BALANCE!!! It is such a constant companion for me. When I get slightly out of balance it is so easy to topple over. Learing when to be independent and when to be interdependent and to stay away from being codependent is the current focus of my relationships.
just stopping by to say hello Anna
I hope all is well ...
Hope to see a new post soon?
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