March 2, 2006


Daily Reflections


HOPE

Do not be discouraged.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 60

Few experiences are of less value to me than fast sobriety. Too
many times discouragement has been the bonus for unrealistic
expectations, not to mention self-pity or fatigue from my wanting to
change the world by the weekend. Discouragement is a warning
signal that I may have wandered across the God line. The secret of
fulfilling my potential is in acknowledging my limitations and believing
that time is a gift, not a threat.

Hope is the key that unlocks the door of discouragement. The
program promises me that if I do not pick up the first drink today, I
will always have hope. Having come to believe that I keep what I
share, every time I encourage, I receive courage. It is with others
that, with the grace of God and the Fellowship of A.A., I trudge the road
of happy destiny. May I always remember that the power within me is
far greater than any fear before me. May I always have patience, for
I am on the right road.

*Perfect reading for me today. I have been feeling discouraged...things not going the way I want them to...powerless over the actions of others. So many of my most trusted, long term relationships are changing right now and it sure doesn't feel good. I want them to stay the same or to grow in a direction that is safe and secure for me.

Brings me to the line in the reading...The secret of
fulfilling my potential is in acknowledging my limitations and believing
that time is a gift, not a threat.

I hate having limitations, they feel like a self imposed prison that I am always trying ot break free of. I have been told by so many people over the years to accept my limitations and every time I hear this a great big feeling of disgust rises from deep within me. Walls go up, the will readies itself for battle and the war begins. I think to myself of all the times I have overcome limitations and it feeds me the strength needed to win.

Today I sit here so powerless over the changes that are taking place. These limitations I have to accept or go back to the world of walking death. It feels hope is slipping so fast as I sink into the warmth of self pity.

Yall are trying to teach me to stick with my morals and values and that in time (Gods time) things will be ok once again...the pain will pass. I do feel this to be true, I know this to be true. Today I will do my best to make friends with "time"...for all time is a gift... never a threat or punishment. I will hold tight the hope that this lesson will add to my strength and courage and I will be a better person having had gone through this. Thanks for all my many wonderful friends walking with me on this path...I couldn't do it alone.